Why did no one tell me…

….. life was gonna be this way.

Why did no one tell me life is easier if you are average at things and don’t have this hunger to be better than what you were yesterday, this urge to do well in school/college, to excel in your career and life in general?

I am not saying I am the best or even close to excellence by any stretch of the imagination. But I also know I am not average. I look around people living lives of mediocrity, not expecting too much from life, not giving their best at work or in life in general(of maybe what they deliver is their definition of best, it’s subjective you know!), having no urge to pursue bigger better things, going with the flow. And life seems to be working out for them, the way it should and has been working for hundreds of generations before us.

Then why some of us are riddled with this pursuit of bigger and better in life? I didn’t sign up for this. Who put this thought in my head and how do I get it out so I can live a normal life without this nagging feeling that life could be more, that I am meant for something bigger, and that I wanna be remembered long after I am gone?

I don’t recall signing up for this. Whoever God, simulation, matrix, universe, whoever is in charge of this, either turn things around in my life OR unsubscribe me from this school of thought, and also wipe out my memory of making this request so that I forget all of it. Because I am tired.

This existence is painful, to say the least and at this point I am willing to trade it for an ignorant blissfully average life.

P.S. No need to raise any alarms, I am not depressed or s******l. It’s just one of those days and writing my thoughts helps me. Usually it’s the notes app of my phone, today it’s Medium.